“A good novel can do more good than a bad psychology book”

If you are interested in emotional intelligence and mindfulness meditation, you probably know Ilios Kotsou. This jovial and positive quadra, who is working on his doctorate on the regulation of emotions at the ULB, became known to the general public thanks to a program by Frédéric Lopez, on France 2, entitled “Leurs secrets du bonheur”. He is the author of a “Praise of lucidity. Free yourself from the illusions that prevent you from being happy” (Robert Laffont), Psychologies – Fnac 2015 prize for the best essay.

Does writing make you happy?

It does me a lot of good…once I finish writing the book. A bit like when you play sports! Ideas come to me easily, but putting them down on paper is long and taxing. I’m really not one of those authors whose pencil runs all by itself on the page once they sit down at their desk.

If it’s not writing as such, what is your motivation?

The desire to share things that I find important and exciting, experiences that have transformed me and done me good personally. I also like the moments that follow the publication, when the book becomes the medium for exchanges, conferences, sharing. Receiving a note from a reader always moves me a little. If my book only benefited one person, that would be enough for me.

What is a good book for you?

A book that allows you to get to know each other better and that you meet at the right time. A good novel can do more good than a bad psychology book. You can get to know yourself better through someone else’s story. A team of neuroscience researchers from Emory University has published an article in the journal “Brain Connectivity” that also shows lasting changes in brain connectivity through reading novels.

You criticize consumerism linked to the pursuit of happiness. At the same time, you participate in it in your own way…

I completely agree ! But, as I also always say, a cookbook does not feed its man. You can read a physical training book a thousand times, it won’t improve your health if you don’t get moving. Similarly, one cannot find happiness in a book, not even mine! The function of a book is not to make people happy. But a book can inspire, give confidence, stimulate creativity, motivate. As always, by working, you end up having a result.

In the psycho and philosophy department, how not to come across a charlatan?

It is necessary to privilege authors who have a good training or a real reflection. Because there are fashions in this area of ​​personal development, and the general public cannot always know what is good or not. At best, it does nothing. But sometimes it can make people feel worse than before. Books can be doors to sectarian movements or very expensive courses.

What fashion seems harmful to you, for example?

Law of Attraction. This is a theory that you can attract anything you want in the world if you think about it hard enough and positively. This also makes you guilty of all the misfortunes that happen to you…

What is the creed of your “Praise of lucidity”?

What can do us good is pragmatic self-knowledge, getting to know our inner life better, getting to know the link between our way of thinking, our emotions, our behaviors. This allows us to take some distance, to be less the plaything of our thoughts and our feelings, to better savor life in the present. When we look at things as they are, we can not only stop telling stories – which allows us to better respond to the difficulties of life – but also see happiness in the little things of everyday life.

What is your bedside book?

My favorite author of the moment, who mixes novels, psychology and philosophy, is Irvin Yalom. This American psychiatrist, who notably wrote “The Schopenhauer method”, has an extraordinary talent for talking about fundamental questions, such as the meaning or the end of life, in a novel that reads like a thriller.