Instructions for making you a priority!

The Easter holidays are approaching, maybe this is the opportunity to take some time for you? To form new habits that will help you start the spiral of unconditional self-love? In previous columns, I invited you either to take time for yourself, or to be a little more indulgent with yourself, this time, instructions for making you a priority and stop believing that it will of you someone selfish.

Making yourself a priority, is that allowed?

Of course not!, will you hear directly: it’s rather frowned upon… But, if you read my columns regularly, you know that what others blame you for is in fact what they prohibit themselves. Let me explain: if you have taken the royal road of self-love, it means that you are able to make yourself a priority. So you take time for yourself, you indulge yourself, you enjoy your own company, in short, you pamper yourself.

If it makes people talk, tell yourself that it’s only because the people who talk envy you. What we blame others for is only a reflection of ourselves that we find difficult to manage. If, on the other hand, you read this column and you recognize yourself in people who envy those who are a little “selfish”, judge yourself, I have good news: you have the right too.

The only person who can give you permission is you. So take that right to make yourself a priority. This will not prevent you from being present, really present, for your loved ones, children, friends, parents,…

Well-ordered charity, starts with oneself

It’s not me who says it… This sentence (which dates from the medieval period!) is well known and yet so little applied. What are we afraid of by putting ourselves on his priority list? To no longer be loved? To be rejected? To be judged? You know, however, that to preserve your resources and your energy, you need rest, to do things that make you happy, to find yourself alone from time to time, to take stock, to isolate yourself. Why are you forbidding it? Why is it so difficult?

Take a moment to think/feel if this ban is really coming from you. Do you have free will over your ability to make yourself a priority? Is there a phrase, a little voice that rings in your head when you consider, possibly, thinking about putting yourself on this list? Who owns this little voice? Once you have identified it, you can, very kindly, return to Caesar what belongs to Caesar.

Then, freed from that little voice that keeps you from doing what you want, you can start forming new habits. Do not procrastinate this moment of your dreams, far from your responsibilities and your multiple commitments. Make a new commitment to yourself by allowing yourself to put yourself at the top of your  » to do  » listing. Your batteries will be recharged and you will be all the more available for the rest.

Put the guilt in the trash

I imagine that little voice that has been coming to your ear so far was good enough to make you feel guilty. Guilt is useless. Not in the case that occupies this column in any case. It’s an unproductive feeling that pushes you to do things you don’t necessarily want to do. Guilt is a major obstacle to authenticity and assertiveness.

It makes us believe that we are indispensable and that others cannot do without us. It also arises when we bear responsibilities that do not belong to us.

I’m not telling you to make yourself the one and only priority. I invite you, simply, to, at least, put yourself on your list. This way, you won’t forget that you are as important as all the other people and things to do that fill your thoughts, days and nights. You are the only person you will spend every minute of your life with, isn’t that reason enough to be as available and caring with yourself as with others (including your children)?

What commitment do you make to yourself?

The “engagement” value is probably very important to you. The problem with this value is that it is often turned towards others. It is important to apply this to yourself as well. So, now that you’re at the end of this column, what commitment are you making to yourself to make yourself a priority? To stop putting everything and everyone after you?

Also think, if you have children, what you want to pass on to them. I’m sure you want them to be successful adults, happy, able to take care of themselves first and foremost, while being focused on others. Show them the example. This is how they will give themselves permission to do so.

Finally, I want to tell you that the world needs people who are balanced, comfortable and loving. Making you a priority, taking care of yourself is important for the balance we all dream of. Give yourself the right to escape, to put off rereading your daughter’s presentation or your friend’s heart problems until tomorrow to take a moment for yourself. The world will keep turning, I promise you.

Take care of yourself.

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