Children are addicted to brands… How do we manage?

Already very young, they are under the influence of brands. And it will crescendo from preadolescence! How to explain to them our financial and moral limits. And how to resist their sledgehammer arguments? The chronicle of parental and school coach Nathalie Vancrayenest.

Marketing departments study, scrutinize, observe our children and scan, dissect, analyze their behavior. Brands in search of globalization know that our little ones have a power of prescription and a very interesting purchasing power for their profits.

It starts in kindergarten, our fashionistas and other budding Spider-Man want to wear the image of their favorite hero, from the toothbrush to the hat through their entire wardrobe. The influence of the brands is accentuated even from pre-adolescence and will only fade, without completely disappearing, after the age of 15.

Marketing solicits them everywhere. And advertisers maintain the vagueness between information and advertising. However, our children are sensitive to advertising, because it plays with their dreams, their ideologies. Advertising and brands are constantly creating new needs, new desires (collections arrive every 10 days in major clothing brands). She manipulates their quest for identity. Not to mention that brands are also used to stand out from adults!

Why does it work?

Brands act as a social passport for tweens and teens. Moreover, 8-12 year olds are collectors, they like to own, it’s in their nature (pebbles, clothes, labels, games…). Marketing has understood the psychic mechanisms that operate during this period of physical and psychological transformation. The upheavals they experience create insecurity, a strong desire to forge their own identity and independent thought. To exist, they identify with their friends, with the “seed of the star” and with the social success that it conveys.

How to manage requests?

Of course, you love your little « fashion victims » and you want to please them or yourself. Because yes, you like to hear childcare workers and teachers say: “Always so cute! « ,  » Oh ! the pretty little prince”, “Oh! a real star”. Yes, we love compliments on our children, and then we also fear that they will be rejected, isolated. But be careful not to reduce them to their image. The need for fashionable « brands » to define oneself, to « be somebody » or to « feel good » is one of the signs of low self-esteem, like the gregarious need to belong to a group, to a clan.

Each family has its values, its financial and moral limits.

Your role as a parent is to educate the « little consumer » who lives with you, in your home! In terms of consumption, you will have to teach him to give up the immediate satisfaction of his desires. You will give him limits and benchmarks and this will generate frustrations and renunciations which will help him to build a strong and independent personality.

Don’t think that children give up satisfying their cravings at the first « no ». Note in passing their perseverance! So they will regularly ask, beg, hoping to get what they want.

I know, sometimes it’s tiring! See the good side of things: they show vitality and dare to express their desires. They test your congruence and consistency.

Don’t feel guilty for saying « no », it’s much less serious than resenting them for « ruining your life » and being bullies.

Once again, you will explain to your cherubs the difference between needs and wants. The need is general: I need a coat to protect me from the cold. One desire is specific: the beige coat, branded X. Material frustration does not affect the construction of self-esteem. (Except cases of systematic deprivation linked to poverty)

• Explain that your budget does not allow such a purchase, that it is not in your habits, in your values. You can also try to explain how brands work, marketing. Yes ! it’s not very convincing for a « teenager », but it’s the beginning of accountability.
• Make him select items he wants at prices acceptable to you.
• Encourage him to save to cover the price difference between basic and brand.
• Give in on one or two less expensive pieces: accessories, t-shirt…
• During the next shopping trips, define the needs before leaving, establish with your child the criteria of choice, communicate to him the budget that you can devote.
• Teach him to customize, to reuse. Vintage is trendy!

Be prepared to respond to their “sledgehammer” arguments

“All my friends have…” Perhaps ! Is it really all friends? How many do you already have? The question allows for reflection. You too have arguments: “Every family is different! », » you can save for it » « Here is a great gift for you ».

“I saw it in the pub”. Advertising doesn’t always tell the truth. She plays on the emotional, she must arouse the desire to buy.

« I’ll ask Grandma. » Let them fend for themselves. If you think he is exaggerating, discuss it with his grandparents, let them know that you would prefer that they postpone the gift to a party.

« I don’t care dad/mom (the other parent, editor’s note) going to buy it for me”. Ah! This is a painful argument!

If you, his parents, have the same values, don’t worry, remind him of parental consistency.

On the other hand, where things become more difficult is when you are separated, divorced and the ex buys the loyalty of the children with designer clothes, games and other trivialities. In this case, explain to the child that buying is a commercial act and not an act of affection, that you do not have the same situation, the same values. Resist blame and criticism. Remember all the activities you like to share with him, without making him feel guilty.

Whatever his arguments, stay the course! His anger is legitimate. Remain vigilant and intractable on the expression of this one and continue to explain to him the reasons for your refusal.

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