A few months ago, many of you recognized yourselves in the column entitled « Thinking too much and all the time, that’s explained ». This week, I wanted to give you the beginning of a guide to thinking « better ». You will find the complete instructions for use in the book “I think better” by Christel Petitcollin, published by Trédaniel.
For those who missed the first part of this column, to read here, here is a short summary. People who think too much are those who can’t stop their brains. He grinds all the time, makes them travel from one thought to another, from one idea to another, from one question to another. When you start a “Google” search, you end up with 38 open tabs and you have to make an effort to remember the original question.
These people who think « too much » are often considered « too sensitive », « sensitive », offbeat, with a special sense of humor. They dissect the information they receive, question it, deepen it. In short, their brain, as Christel says in her book, functions like a “marmoset jumping from one branch to another”. Except that they jump from one idea to another.
In “I think too much”, the reader discovers this complex thought, he analyzes it, sorts it out, recognizes himself in it or not. In « I think better », he discovers more how to adapt to those who do not work with this complex thought and to better live their boiling brain.
Is it possible to stop thinking?
I’ll tell you without round legs: NO. No one has found the OFF button yet. Of course, there are techniques that can help you to decrease the flow of thoughts, to no longer be directed by them. But the thoughts are unstoppable. In fact, it is not a question of trying to stop thinking, but of choosing your focus of thoughts.
People who think too much generally tend to underestimate themselves, this lack of confidence often leads to negative thoughts, gloomy anticipations, disaster scenarios. When I have you in front of me in consultation, I am always amazed by your ability to consider all possible options in a situation. Obviously, it is useless to tell you that you are doing it in a pessimistic way since you do not really have confidence in yourself.
In this vast color chart of people who think too much, there are also the inveterate optimists, the “Care Bears” who do not understand that others do not work like that and who see the positive in everything. They can’t stop thinking either. But their thoughts are directed differently. Do you understand ?
A deficit ofandgo
Always him! Or often him. The ego. He gets bad press. Yet it is partly necessary. The excess of ego or the excess of lack of ego are to be avoided. I’ve told you this before, but it’s always a question of balance. People with complex thinking have a huge ego deficit. Christel Petitcollin, in her books, tells us a lot about it. She explains : “In fact, your problem is not your lack of self-confidence, but your lack of ego. Now, the food for ego is the « Thank you » and the « Bravo ». andgo. » Here are some traits you might recognize yourself in:
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When you are given a compliment, you are destabilized, you put it down to luck, teamwork, chance,… But certainly not your skills and/or qualities.
These are just a few examples, the whole book is full of them. If you recognize yourself in it, I highly recommend that you read it.
How do we think better?
You have to nurture your self-confidence. In this book, Christel Petitcollin tells us » self-confidence is something that evaporates and needs to be fed regularly « . She gives us some clues:
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» Validate all your successes, without “yes but”. » I told you at the beginning of the column, people who think too much attribute their successes to chance and luck. You will therefore have to force yourself a little to celebrate your successes! Without diminishing the merit that you can give yourself by responding to a compliment with “Yes but…”
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» You’re good and capable, you don’t have to prove it » : you don’t have to do more and more to reduce your impression of imposture and prove to the whole world (and to yourself) that you deserve your success.
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» Take care of the prince or princess in you »: people who think too much are generally quite good at caring for others, revealing their potential, encouraging them, pampering them,… And what about you? If you took care of yourself as you take care of others, you would gain a lot of self-confidence and a certain number of your anxieties would calm down.
See you next week.
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