Mom: how to make a major life change

Because there are many physical upheavals and questions when you are pregnant, Alia Cardyn, life coach and mother herself of soon to be 3 children, has written a very practical, fun and above all guilt-free book for all mothers: future, those overwhelmed by events when HE is there and those who return to work with very different routines.

« It’s amazing that so little has been written on the subject in the end, when becoming a mother is a major life change », notes Alia Cardyn in her clear and cheerful voice. Former lawyer, life coach, she developed maternity coaching « when I realized how women experience their motherhood differently: some are more sensitive, others angry, others become zen, some discover themselves fears that overwhelm them… », notes the young coach herself pregnant with her 3rd child. She therefore accompanies more and more future mothers before birth, during their maternity leave, or even during their return to work. Three phases that are sources of joy, discovery but also questioning, fear, fatigue and hormonal upheaval that weaken!

And she knows something about it, Alia, about all these upheavals: she even wrote a very intimate novel about it « A life waiting for you » (Ed. Charleston; extract here) which addresses the relationship to one’s parents, to one’s « foundations » when one becomes a mother.

To help all those she does not meet, Alia Cardyn has also written a small book as an accompaniment and exercise book. It is full of advice, testimonials, practical tools to maintain or boost your confidence. And which is aimed at future mothers of a first baby as well as women who are already mothers.

Baby blues, breastfeeding, feeling of emptiness, low morale following physical changes in the body, advice from others and family, stress of returning to work: everything is addressed in a serene and guilt-free way because it’s normal to feel this !

Alia Cardyn reveals the main tracks. But first, know that « it takes at least a year to recover from childbirth, » says the coach with experience.

>> We think of ourselves and not only of the baby or of others!

In a high-performance society like ours, how many mothers have trouble slowing down, not feeling guilty for not always doing more! Stop. Many practical exercises in this book will help you listen to yourself.

>> During pregnancy, we do an energy check-up

“Do we have boosting habits that do us good; what are our weaknesses? “: we reflect on its mode of operation because we will live better by knowing its limits and we will be less caught off guard in the event of the unexpected. And we make a list, it’s so much more telling

>> We do good with little mantras

“Before I had principles; now I have children: this very simple little sentence really makes it possible to relieve guilt and to understand to what extent, if everything changes, we must accompany this change without remorse: we can no longer tidy up as before? Give yourself time, it will come back! « It takes a whole village to raise a child » says an African proverb.

>> We are very aware of his condition

We must understand that we are really affected in our usual functioning by excess fatigue and hormone levels that make the yoyo. And that if we react strangely, that we fall for something stupid, it doesn’t matter, it’s not “quite us”. Be understanding with yourself!

>> We form a team

In the couple, there is oneself and the other. Women tend to want to do everything and be strong even when their energy is spent on something else. Burnout is not an option! Be a little lazy, advises Alia Cardyn, don’t try to do everything, at all costs and let the other take up space, even if he doesn’t do like you. One day things will turn around…right. Or otherwise!

>> We visualize what is scary

Some time before returning to work and thus closing an important parenthesis in his life, we visualize this return. “Did you know that the brain cannot tell the difference between imagined memories and real memories? “, emphasizes Alia Cardyn. We imagine it pleasant, fulfilling, not so trying as we feared, we play it and replay it in our head and that boosts our confidence.

>> We seek harmony in professional life

The balance between private life and professional life is essential, and when you are a young mother, even more so! More and more companies are aware of this and offer coaching to their employees.

If that’s not going well, why not consider being accompanied in a professional reorientation through a few maternity coaching sessions?

>> At work: we plan

Especially when you are a young mother, you plan your day even more at 70% rather than 100%! If you get to the end of your program for the day, you are more satisfied and you sleep better. And we are at best to go back the next day. CQFD.

Happy moms before, during and after maternity leave, Alia Cardyn. Ed. Jouvence – Small notebook, €6.90